One of the sweetest ways to personalize your wedding ceremony is to write your own wedding vows. When you write your own vows to read at your ceremony, it gives your guests a small glimpse into your relationship and why you are standing there. It invites them to be a part of something so heartfelt and emotional. It also helps make your wedding memorable and unique to the two of you. Not to mention the pictures your photographer will get as your read your vows aloud to one another and most likely start crying!
We get it, it can be terrifying to try and write your own vows, let alone the writer’s block you are likely to get when you try and write something so important! Here is our step-by-step guide, with some tips along the way, to help you get those meaningful words down on paper before the big day!
1. Talk To Your Officiant
Before getting started, talk to your officiant– they are the pros on wedding ceremonies after all! Not only will they be able to give you advice, but they will also let you know if there is anything you must include in your vows, especially if you are having a religious ceremony.
2. Do Your Research
Like with any college paper or essay, you have to research what you are writing! Pay attention at any weddings you attend, read online or pick up your favorite love story novel for inspiration. Decide what you do like, what you don’t like and what gives you that feeling of love.
Pro tip: Decide on tone with your partner – will you go humor or sappy, or a little of both?
3. Take Notes
Now that you know what direction to go in, start jotting down some ideas. Things you love about your partner, funny anecdotes together, even things that annoy you about your partner (if you decide to go with a humorous tone!).
4. Decide What To Promise
Let’s remember what a vow is all about – it’s not just a time to talk about how much you love your partner and what they mean to you, but most importantly what you are promising them for the rest of your lives together.
5. Write It Out
Now that you’ve got the ideas written down, put it into a presentable format. Write it down how you picture yourself reading it on wedding day.
Pro Tip: Avoid cliché phrases
A first draft is never usually the final draft, so now is the time for editing. Read it out loud and pay attention to how it sounds and how it feels. If you trust your maid of honor or best man to keep it to themselves, ask them for some feedback and then make any necessary changes.
Pro Tip: Keep it to around two minutes
We know you know the saying and it’s true – practice does make perfect! You don’t want to be reading word for word staring at a paper on wedding day, so practice your vows beforehand. This way you feel confident enough to only glance at your paper once or twice on wedding day and you can actually look your partner in the eyes while you are saying it – this is for them after all!
Pro Tip: Print an extra copy for wedding day, just in case!
In the end, it’s okay to go off script! These words should be from the heart and if your heart is directing you off script then go with it. No one will ever know except you!